(Source: idreamofjimmy, via ruinedchildhood)
I accidentally ate the fortune in my fortune cookie.
thats unfortunate
It’s actually fortune ate.
i am so done with this website
(via tonyrecinos69)
If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.
This is perfect.
(via cejfuzz)
I JUST SPAT ALL OVER MY SCREEN OH MY GOD
someone make a full fledged fanart of this immediately
(via cejfuzz)
tumblr has fallen
david karp is dead
yahoo is coming
your second sentence only has 5 syllables. Haiku fail. Though… they all do have 5, poem pass, haiku fail.
it wasn’t a haiku, it was a harry potter reference:
“the ministry has fallen
scrimgeour is dead
they are coming.”
MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING
(via egberts)
Reversed cotton candy eating.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
(Source: togifs, via p-ensieves)
(Source: stupidape, via p-ensieves)
THE SHRAPNEL IS IN THE FUCKING NECKLACE
HOLY SHIT
(Source: pepper-badass-in-heels, via p-ensieves)
(via p-ensieves)
